It is my second Ramadhan in the US and it means that I will miss mudik for like wise second time. Ramadhan itself has been almost a routine to me (and this is bad, supposedly). In Ramadhan 1980, when I was still 6 years old, I decided to observe fasting for a full day and full month. For many at that age, as we just learn how to fast, first fasting days are observed in a half day -- we break the fasting at noon and we call it poso mbedug, because we were breaking the fast when bedug (a traditional instrument, like a drum, to announce the time of prayer) was hit.
No religious thing, to be sure, was for that little Arif. I just observed fasting because my family do. In addition, I have to thank my parents that they never push me to do that. One day, I was so thirty and hungry, just returning back from school. I found my mother was preparing cake for the day of Ied. The cake looks so delicious and I really want it.
Fully understand what my face look like, my mother indeed asked me to break my fasting. I was rebellious though. If she had discouraged me, I might exactly break my fasting. But, because she let me break my fasting instead, I did not break my fasting. I just thought that it must be a great achievement if I can completed my fasting.
After ten days observing and I looked though, my father promised me to give me a price if I can finish my fasting. "On the nigh of Id, we will buy a TV for you if you can complete 30 days", my father said.
I was more than encouraged therefore to finish my first fasting completely. And I did. On the night of Ied, we went to Tulungagung to buy a new TV when a TV was still an expensive stuff to buy (in 1980).
Now, can I find that feeling again? It will be my 26th fasting and I am not sure if I can do better, achieve more than a routine and obligation.
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